Some time ago at a Girl’s Night in Abidjan, I told my friends that when Noah was born I saw death in front of me. You can only imagine how those girls looked at me (although they probably feel the exact same way and they often wished that they didn’t have any kids).
What I meant by that is that as soon as I had my baby, I was no longer a kid anymore. I quickly saw myself growing old and dying of old age ;). I find myself looking at Noah and envying this freedom that he has. A life free of worry….
I feel that I cannot go and cry at my parents anymore. Whatever it is, I need to suck it up and deal with it ! Whatever the problem, I need to face it with a new optic and fix it by myself or with my husband. God…when did I get this old????…well, I think it was the day that I had my own baby and my life was filled with responsibilities that I did not have before.
Now…Would I go and tell all those women not to have a baby and to wait until they’ve seen the world, became successful professionally and done it all?
The answer to that is actually pretty complex...
I think that it’s hard to be ready to have a baby and I think that anyone who is planning on having one should not think about being ready or not on a financial level but more on an emotional level. You need to be ready to a zombie for a good year.
But you know what…I don’t regret the decision that I made back then. Noah fills my heart with so much joy that it makes up for all those dinners that I missed, all those clubbing moments that I skipped on, all that drinking that I did not do and all the other moments that I could not be there for.
But being a parent is such a great adventure, hearing him say Mama 1 million times a day is just irreplaceable.
